Monday, April 20, 2009

Love Meets SEXUAL Needs Day 32.................

"The husband must fulfill his duty to his wife, and LIKEWISE ALSO THE WIFE TO HER HUSBAND.--- 1 Corinth.7:3

PLEASE NOTE THIS BLOG HAS SENSITIVE MATERIAL THROUGHOUT IT AS WELL AS BEING KINDA LONG .....................
God Bless
I know , I know what you are thinking oh no not this topic...........HOWEVER this topic is important and MY LADY FRIENDS it is totally ok and ALOUD woohoo. What perfect timing since Pastor John is doing the study on Wednesday night on the most romantic love story ever , yes that's right the "SONG of SOLOMON". In Christian marriage, romance is meant to thrive and flourish, after all it is what was created by God himself . In the Song of Soloman we see sexual things described in a poetic detail ,showing us how each one responds to the other. It expresses how honesty and understanding in sexual matters go hand in hand in leading to a life of confident love together.

It is important to know sex is of course not the ONLY aspect of marriage however it is a huge part of it. If one mate is more in tune with it and the other really doesnt care which way not really looking for intimate relations unless absolutly needed then the other mate may start to feel threatened and endangered. Here is when our weaknesses come into play if we have been
avoiding intimacy with our husbands then we open a door wide open for the enemy to come in and tempt our men with sexual desires in which are not intended for them to partake of such as beginning with harmless looks and flirtation which may lead to porn and clubs which will eventually lead to 9 times out of 10 an actual affair yikes I know hate to talk about these things however they are very real and the enemy is ALWAYS LURKING waiting for an opportunity to destroy as many marriages as possible we must not allow that to happen. Now please ladies do not get me wrong k I am not suggesting that we alone cause our mates to cheat (lets just not leave any room for enemy to work) and I am also not saying that we must allow ourselves to be used as doormats and giving husbands intimacy EVERY single night I know there are seasons this just cant happen However my friends if we are using the excuse often that we have headaches or we are tired (so are they sis) or we start using sex as a bargaining chip to get our selfish desire met. And ladies withholding of sex without both of you in agreement and for a time of prayer is a sin God will reign down consequences. Though there are times of not being intimate that is understandable however God has divinely designed the heart of marriages as one of giving ourselves to each other to meet the other's need not our own need. So the truth is it isnt about us we as wives(and hubby's) need to make sure we are mindful to our husbands (wives)and their needs and do our VERY BEST to meet those needs again so enemy may not come in to destroy.

"stop depriving one another," the bible warns, "EXCEPT BY AGREEMENT FOR A TIME, SO THAT YOU MAY DEVOTE YOURSELVES TO PRAYER, AND COME TOGETHER AGAIN SO THAT SATAN WILL NOT TEMPT YOU BECAUSE OF YOUR LACK OF SELF-CONTROL"

1 CORINTHIANS 7:5

I have to say I am about to be very transparent right here and share some very recent hurtful issues in my own marriage I so didnt expect to share this however I must obey the King so here it goes I only ask you not to judge. (thou not judge lest ye want to be judged yourselves just a reminder) our marriage is more opposite than your comman marriage for us the roles are reversed so to speak I am the one who's desire for intimacy is beyond that of your average male
so I am the one who as the husband likes to( well you know do it ALL THE TIME............... )my husband however is very different, and he is wonderful yet didnt know for years how to handle this at all and would start withholding and to the point of maybe once a week to then once a month and worse so of course being weak as the Bible spoke of on top of being an emotional gal started assuming (first lie I listened to) that something was wrong with me like oh am I to fat or am I not attractive enough anymore is there SOMEONE ELSE??? what in the world was wrong with me because really wasnt it every guys dream to have the girl with the crazy sex drive since we know most dont.
This became so huge of an issue in our marriage it started a wall to go up on both sides leaving it harder to communicate or even think about being intimate it would be weeks and weeks before
it would happen leaving me YES WEAK I was tempted by the enemy in many ways I am so blessed that nothing happened it never went farther than looking and thoughts of what it would be like to have a different mate (yes evil I know) we know though the Lord says in His very word if you have even lusted with your eye you have already committed adultery Yikes serious

I am so blessed that the Lord as I cried out came in the 11th hour placed things in our lives to make us deal with this harmful thought process and we have been restored in our marriage it is not easy however we know we MUST communicate, SACRIFICE, and do our best to meet the other's needs in which we are learning each passing day to do. I guess my point being ladies is that having been on the Man's side so to speak I want to stress the IMPORTANCE NOT to WITHHOLD from Him UNLESS biblically needed or I am telling you from experience you are headed down a path of devistation leaving room for enemy to come in lie, entice, conquor, and finally destroy what the Lord has intended for the marriage bed to be.

The Dare for today I will share with you and challenge you to do this evening as well:

TODAY'S DARE #32:

If at all possible, try to initiate sex sex with your husband today. Do this in a way that honors what your spouse has told you or implied to you that they need from us sexually. Ask God to then make this enjoyable for the both of you as well as a path to a greater intimacy..........

I have learned in our own personal journey that God's plan for the marriage bed is for us as mate's to meet in the middle and come to a place of agreement and as we ourselves have been doing this the intimacy is 100% better than I ever could have dreamed of so know there is hope if this is indeed an area of difficulty. If this is a place of hurt for your marriages as well my friend remember the ONLY WAY TO RE-ESTABLISH A LOVING UNION BETWEEN EACH OTHER IS "LOVE" and just letting go and "LETTING GOD" God bless you all in your marriage journey.

Father I pray you work in the heart of both husbands and wives in this sensitive area may you protect each marriage of being defiled and from the lurking enemy waiting to entice when we fall weak be our strength Lord Jesus may the walls fall down and may we all know what a beautiful thing the marriage bed was intended to be and that it is ok to be very sexual with our mates as long as it is the way you intended and may we seek to please the desires of our mates within reason and may you make this enjoyable to all in Jesus Name AMEN AND AMEN

Until Next Time,
cindy

5 comments:

Saved by Grace said...

Wow Cindy!!
Thank you I so needed to hear that because I am what your husband is. Yikes....!!! I so need prayer in that area. This really spoke to me, convicted me and encouraged me. Thank you soo much for opening up your heart to us. It's awesome that you are sharing you! Thank you for being faithful to our Father. I know it's hard but you totally ministered to my heart and I really needed to read that.

Thank you Jesus!! Amen!

In Christ's Love,
aDrienne

Anonymous said...

Yes, this is a very important in a marriage and hard to talk about, thank you for sharing, friend...so true the enemy is waiting for that opportunity and this is why *it* has become my priority since my hubby is away so much.
And now Fridays are my spa day & I'm not planning stuff on that day, so that I can be home and prepare myself just for him <3
May God bless you, sis, I will lift you and your marriage up as you continue your journey on the.....LOVE DARE!
Blessings&Hugs!
Liz

Leslie said...

I haven't read your whole post, yet. I wanted to tell you that you are doing a neat thing to show "how" to honor your husband and your marriage! Thank you. Beutifully done. I'll be back.

Becky said...

Cindy,

Thank you for sharing. Thank you, too, for being transparent. It was a blessing to read. You bless many!

God bless you, have a good day!
-Your sister,
Becky

Karen said...

Wow sis!!! Thanks so much for sharing. Our God truly is a awsome God... Our sex life is great... No problems with talking about that... God has revealed to me that know matter what trial or season your in. To rejoice always. We are to rejoice even when things are tough and when there great. REJOICE ALWAYS... That sure does me in good or bad....
Love your sister,
Karen

My New Book I am currently reading by Favorite blog sister Ann Voskamp

My New Book I am currently reading by Favorite blog sister Ann Voskamp
Best Book of the Year This dear sister in the Lord writes with such eloquence I cant even put the book down it becomes so REAL for me the pages come to life! This is a MUST read!!

Mel and I at one of the scrapbook weekends at church!!!

Mel and I at one of the scrapbook weekends at church!!!
I love ya sis!!!

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