Why a Troubled Heart???

The thru the word was so perfect for me today ................... have you all just ever sat down and felt as if the pages were coming to life and speaking directly to you as if God were setting you on His lap and speaking to you as a babe needing guidence and direction????? well this is how I felt today......... I have been in a state of solitude lately for a time of reflection, evaluation, and guidence in some area's of my life for 2009 and just in general and it has been trying and rewarding at the same time. In the beginning of the year I prayed for God to show me what He wanted for me in this next year for myself and family and He really convicted me on my schedule and family time and to stop almost eveything until I hear CLEARLY from Him not my flesh or any outside influence and that is what I have done I have felt led to sit this Bible Study out and not do so many extra curricular things dont get me wrong I am not ever doing any again however the Lord is teaching me it is OK to NOT go to EVERY SINGLE THING every single time, there are seasons for everything even resting and sitting things out. This is where my struggle comes in you see I have ALWAYS been one who has to be at everything I am a go, go , go, and do, do, do, kind of person I cant sit still for to long and this has been since I was about three however the Lord is showing me I need to learn to be still more in order to hear His still small voice and also to REALLY look and evaluate my life and where I am right now. When you get to busy you tend to overlook these things. I have had a very emotional week attacked every which way and beaten down at least several times a day (it seemed like that anyway) it didnt help I had that thing that visits most of us one time a month so emotions were higher than ever you'd think we would learn to take that into consideration oh no not me not till after the stinkin fact of coarse. Things transpired
this week in ways in which just continued to unravil the weeks events and at one point I was having very selfish pity party and on Wednesday an event took place that would be the icing on the cake by now I am frustrated, emotional, hurt, confused, irritated, and down right in the flesh
and it was noticable to others yikes.....................................................................................................
so I knew I was clearly in need of repentance and time with my Father to reflect on when and where I had gotten in this yucky mood I was in and He showed me duhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....
How quickly we(I) forget(ok speaking for myself here) we are His and not our own and that He has our everyday planned just for us and has given us the directions and tools we need for each day we just have to choose to come before His throne daily and ask Him to guide and direct and lead our every move throughout the day mmmm I let the attacks of the enemy get to me instead of remembering the Lord is my Shelter ALWAYS no matter how bad the storm is that we may be facing in our lives His love for us will set us free from any storm and that we can rise above it in His strength not our own PRAISE GOD!!! So today as I humbled myself before His feet crying out to Him with my hurts and frustrations as I begin to read the very first verse in thru the word I am gently reminded by my loving "Father" "Let not your heart be troubled; you believe in God, believe also in me." John 14:1 I could hear Him asking me Why Cindy why is your heart troubled and confused you believe in me right??? well yes of coarse I say then as I continue to read in verse 6 "I am the way, the truth, and the life(am I not? I heard Him say yikes that was convicting)
if I am the way the truth and the life WHY is your heart troubled my daughter? I heard as I continued on with my quiet time then skip down to verse 27 "Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. (and again) let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid." By now I am so comforted yet at same time feeling pretty silly for not in the mist of all the craziness this week remembering to just count it all joy and remember God has my back no matter what else is going on so I now am approaching last few verses of the day in John 15 verse 11 to be exact and what does it say????? "These things I have spoken to you, that My joy may remain in you, and that your joy may be full." WOW you are amazing God I love it when His word comes alive to me and reaches me right where I am at that moment (not that His word isnt always alive) so I repented melted into His arms and released all that I was in the flesh holding on to it was awesome and amazing. you know the more I look deep into why I have these moments the moments of pure weakness it always breaks down to my selfishness and or sin or lack of communion with my Father.... so today as I began and first cried out to my Lord He opened my eyes and allowed the healing to begin He allowed me to see it wasnt Him that had gone anywhere but that it was I that stayed in my pity party instead of laying it all down at the foot of the cross and allowing Him to see me through it all and realize He allows these times to enter my life to teach me and grow me and I should be allowing them and counting them ALL as PURE JOY mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm I love you Lord!! He truley is Lord of Lord's and KING of KING'S. As I continue in my season of rest and solitude I am going to count everything thrown my way as pure joy and know it is the Lord at work perfecting me into the Cindy He wants me to be AMENNNN. It's not about me it is ALL ABOUT HIM, if we can all just remember this we would have such an awesome peace I seek that peace for myself as well as pray for all of us to find it and it can only be found in our Lord there is nothing in any of us worthy of anything only in His strength, Remembering few days back in John 3:30
" He must become greater;I must become less and less" ........... May God bless you
Until Next Time,
Cindy

Happy New Year!!

To all my friends and family we wish you a very blessed, healthy, joyful, and prosperous New Year!! My prayer is that as we enter into 2009 we will all have a hunger and thirst for our Lord as never before and to faithfully daily seek His face and His will for our lives. I pray that as our stay here on earth continues to spiral away faster and faster that we would find our comfort and peace in the hands of our loving FATHER. God bless you all we pray your New Year is safe!!

Until Next Time,
Cindy Bolt

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL

"LET IT SNOW ,LET IT SNOW, LET IT SNOW!!!

SNOW IN VEGAS????? Well yes indeed we are covered in snow....... my mom says NO WAY 5 INCHES(well in Henderson that is)?? I said yep even news says so lol. When it first started I was on my way to Wal-Mart to run an errand and pick up some gifts I told myself when going into store oh well it sure is nice but I doubt it sticks well 20 minutes later and a whole lot of snow later to my surprise there it was all over the parking lot and cars . I had to scrape the snow from car before I could even drive go figure having to do that here. So I start driving and it didnt take long to become frazzled with the drivers around however said a prayer and the Lord reminded me not everyone has driven in snow before and for me to just becareful and do my part and praise God I OBEYED AND MADE IT HOME SAFE and so did Greg woohoo!!! When daddy arrived it was play in snow time we had a blast it was an awesome adventure in our own backyard and frontyard snow fights, snowmen,
snow angels you name it we did it . The best part of the night was the cuddle time which I am getting back to in a sec. however the coolest part of night was our Bella looking out window and saying very dramatic on the phone with her NaNa as she is looking out window, holding phone with one hand and useing the other hand to talk with and says "NaNa oh boy GOD IS SO AWESOME HE CAN EVEN MAKE THE SNOW IT IS BEAUTIFULLY " that's how she says beautiful lol. It was cute as she sat there and marveled at His works it made all frustrations of the day seem so meaningless and we sat and looked out the window in awe. I pray you all got to play in the snow and if not that you were able to just stop and marvel at His wonderful works and enjoy our "WINTER WONDERLAND" may God bless you all and keep us all safe on the roads tonight and tomorrow!!

God Bless you, May you all have a VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS AND BLESSED NEW YEAR!

Until next year,
Cindy

JESUS.......... THE TRUE MEANING OF THE SEASON!!

Hello my blog friends,
I am not really blogging yet ......however I have felt led to share a few things with my sister's so here it goes and then I will Lord willing return to blogging in middle of January.
I know for most of us we have already been very busy and my prayer is that after the tea most of us can slow down some to REALLY ENJOY the season in which we are in. I pray every lady is truly blessed by all three nights of the tea we are so blessed praise you JESUS. I know there are many parties to still attend and dinners to be made, looking for the perfect gifts, wrapping those gifts, baking goodies, getting together with families (many in which are not saved and have no real knowledge of the true meaning of this season) and this if we dont stay focused can cause stress which in turn becomes worry for most and as we worry we turn our eyes off the very meaning of the season and onto the circumstances around us.
How can we buy for everyone on our list? Will friends and family understand that this year cant be like years past due to economy?? What will we do about the kids?
Well here is an awesome answer to those very questions .......God loved us soooooo
much He gave us His one and only Son that we the SINNER can live a life everlasting (John 3:16) wow that is the most amazing GIFT OF ALL isn't it??
Well yes it is we deserved death so I am thinking it is for sure the best gift ever,
so if that is the best gift then we should give it to all we come across our families,
the people standing in those very long lines, to the check out clerks whom for hours have dealt with the harried customers ALL DAY LONG , the people sharing our road ways with us, and so on... may we be filled with HIS LOVE ,GRACE, MERCY, PATIENCE, JOY, PEACE, GENTLENESS, KINDNESS, AND SPREAD IT TO THOSE AROUND US THAT IS THE GREATEST GIFT WE CAN GIVE. As far as our families and the giving of less I read a devotion this past week which had a thought to ponder "MAYBE THE FINANCIAL HARDSHIP WE ARE ALL FACING IS
FOR THE VERY PURPOSE OF TURNING OUR HEARTS SOLELY ON JESUS THIS SEASON AND NOT THE TRAPPINGS OF THIS WORLD " MY PRAYER FOR MYSELF FIRST AND FORMOST AS WELL AS ALL OF US IS THAT WE WILL BE CONTENT WITH OUR PERSONAL SITUATION AND TRUST THAT WE ARE RIGHT WHERE THE LORD HAS US FOR A TIME SUCH AS THIS.

"The fear of the Lord leads to life, and he who has it will abide in satisfaction; he will not be visited with evil". Prov. 19:23

"Now godliness with contentment is great gain." 1 Tim. 6:6

May we abide in the satisfaction only He can give and may we be content with whatever we can provide this season..................................

Father I lift up this Holiday season to you this evening I ask you to calm our hearts may we not be anxious for one thing but in ALL things come to you trusting you will provide what is needed. Father may we remember to be Filled with your JOY putting JESUS FIRST, OTHERS NEXT, AND OURSELVES LAST, Father do give us strength as we are out in a world in which is so rushed and rude that we would stand in the gap and be the piller of salt and that lamp that shines brightly
to those around may we all take time this season to share you with our families and may not one of us look back over this CHRISTmas and ask "WHERE DID IT GO AND WE DIDNT DO SO MANY THINGS BUT INSTEAD MAY WE BE FILLED TO OVERFLOWING WITH YOUR LOVE FOR US AND WE REALIZE HOW OUR SALVATION IS THE BEST GIFT EVER AND SHARE THAT WITH ALL AROUND.
Lord we are a blessed people and we thank you for the birth of Jesus .....................................
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JESUS
IT'S IN YOUR NAME WE PRAY AMEN
FROM OUR HOME TO YOUR HOME "WE WISH YOU A VERY MERRY CHRISTmas
AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!
Until next time,
cindy

Battle of The Will's

Hello my friends,
It seems as if it has been a lifetime since blogging however only merely short of a month........I was on a little break to focus on cleansing my heart out yet again and was not planning on blogging this soon however the Lord had a bit of a different plan. I have to say I battle with a strong will inside more than I care to admit and as I heard Pastor say in a sermon recently about when left to ourselves, "if we are left undone even for a moment we are misrable human beings wicked to the very core"; wow not a sight I want to envision. Let me explain I have been in a season of forgetfulness and had taken my eyes off the Lord and onto self for a short time in which also seemed like a lifetime I'd say for about 2 months now in which I was in a wicked state. I had taken eyes off the Lord and onto a couple of my life circumstances and because of that not truly having that real fellowship with the Lord and it was a dangerous place to be in. The Lord over this weekend through a sis in Christ as well as hours in His word, has shown me many things almost to the point of being overwhelmed .....however He does only allow what we can handle so I know it was just what I needed at the time. FIRST He showed me I had been lying to myself this whole time about dealing with a serious issue in my life and in order for Him to use me in the mighty way The very way I had been praying to be used this would HAVE TO BE DEALT WITH I however had been in denial for sometime now. He had sent sister's in my path to speak to me about it and used other circumstances and everytime I said it was all good and it really wasn't or I would put a wall of protection around me in fear of being judged or admitting I was a mess how can I be used if I am in a mess??? The real truth though is we are "ALL" a mess if left to ourselves and take our focus off of the Lord Jesus you see HE IS STRENGTHENED IN OUR WEAKNESSES so the fact that we are weak shows our very need for Jesus in our day to day lives. I had needed (as we all do) to fix my eyes and hope upon Jesus no matter what or how hard the circumstances ,
life has purpose and meaning yet only in Christ not in my flesh. The Lord has promised to keep watch on us always as a shepherd cares for his sheep(Matt.28:20;John 10:14) Through our troubled times by the power of the HOLY SPIRIT these circumstances become opportunities
to learn more about God's faithfulness, draw on His strength, and experience personal growth woohoo.......
I want all those things. Here is the big one we need to resist our former lifestyle, when trouble comes it is tempting to revert to ungodly habits or to take up new ones (in which was my case)
In these seasons of life , Satan will encourage us to pursue any path that leads away from the Lord in my case it was denial of the real matter at hand. I needed to remember I am a NEW CREATION whose lifestyle is to match my position as a child of God not of this world. Next thing
that has been revealed to me over this weekend is that we need (starting with myself) to make holiness our main goal, being "holy" or set apart begins with :
GIVING UP CONTROL OVER THINGS IN OUR LIVES AND ALLOWING THE HOLY SPIRIT TO GUIDE AND DIRECT OUR PATHS IN EVERY AREA OF OUR LIVES NOT MOST,
WE MUST SUBMIT TO HIM AND WITH ABSOLUTELY NO CONDITIONS. NOW this one knocked me back a few feet .....you see for the most part I have been pretty obedient in most areas of my life wow that is what I was getting tripped up on God wants every area to be given to Him and I up until now wasnt willing I held on to an area where I thought I could control it and the other circumstance being in my marriage I was being soooooo VERY SELFISH and doing things out of expectance and with conditions scary place to be trust me I just have learned this lesson THE VERY HARD WAY . Taking control of what is God's (which is my very life and all within it) and not my own is sin it had me focusing on self which is idolatry YIKES. We all want the FULLNESS of what the Lord has for us and unless we focus always upon Him we will not be blessed with that fullness and then we are robbed of our true joy in which is found in Christ alone. As I am coming out of this season in which has been very difficult I KNOW I HAVE BEEN RESTORED back to the Lord I have been so blessed that we serve a God who if He sees fit will bring us out of our trials just as soon as we put our focus back where it belongs. You see my friends He has given us free will and we wake up daily and it is up to us to choose whom we will serve will it be PICKING UP OUR CROSSES AND FOLLOWING AFTER HIM OR will it be to choose self and the things of this world which in essence following Satan????? I dont know about you but as for me and my house we shall choose this day and every day here after to Follow the Lord I WILL NO LONGER SERVE MY FLESH may I decrease that He may increase..........

If we are given to the Lord with the right heart , willingly and cheerfully, the results will be that we will always have everything we need. we will have all sufficiency in ALL THINGS.
words by: Chuck Smith off of the verse 2 cor.9:8

we need to trust in God alone ......trusting in ourselves is an invitation to have Satan enter in and start to destroy our lives and once we allow this it is a very fast downward spiral to destruction in all areas of life our own lives,those around us such as family, friends, our ministries the very things God has blessed us with and I know for me personally I dont want that to even be an option so I choose Jesus. I am thankful for the body of Christ and for the wonderful sister's the Lord has placed in my life to love me, befriend me, listen to me, iron in which to sharpen my iron, to rebuke me when needed in love, to be about their Father's business THANK YOU you know whom you are and your prayers and encouragement and love and rebukes have meant so much to me and am so blessed we serve together in a church where restoration is a priority.

I DO ASK YOU TO ALL PRAY EVEN THOUGH I KNOW I HAVE BEEN RESTORED , I ALSO KNOW THE ENEMY WANTS TO STOP THAT ....... WHILE STRUGGLES AND TRIALS WILL INDEED STILL COME MY WAY AS THEY ARE APART OF EVERYDAY LIFE I KNOW I AM NOT TO BE OVERCOME BY THEM AND NOT TO LOOSE SIGHT AND KEEP FOCUSED REMAINING ON CHRIST ALONE TO SEE ME THROUGH THEM ONE DAY AT A TIME.
MAY WE FIND HOPE IN OUR LORD THIS DAY AND AS THE THRU THE WORD SAID TODAY IN CHAPTER 10:5 b may we "bring every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ" as hard as our days may seem may we daily hour by hour minute by minute hold every thought captive and choose to pick up our crosses and follow hard after Him and not the things of this world in which are but only for a moment. God bless you all

Until Next Time,
Your Sis in Christ,
Cindy

The Mom You're Meant to Be..................

Hello it has been a while I know please forgive me I have been very busy then again who hasn't lol?? I have to allow the Lord to do a work in me and then await His timing and as He leads then and only then do I share, so that has been another reason for the delays please forgive me this one is a long one lots to say.

So as the title said ,"The Mom You're Meant to Be" that as some of you know is the title to the once a month mom's bible study book in which we were able to get last night . I have to say it is a fabulous book I didnt want to put it down however my husband insisted on me getting SOME SLEEP ummmmmmmmmmm I said whats sleep lol??? The title says it all for me that is what I long for..... to be the mom God has meant or intended or created me to be I have to say though I fall so short so many times. I hear all the time lately how do you do it, you are great, you rock, you are such a good mom, and on and on and I have to say THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH FOR YOUR NICE KIND ENCOURAGING WORDS however I am a mom just like you. I have times I look to the Lord and say why me Lord I cant handle 1 child right now let alone 7 what were you thinking of course He reminds me He doesnt give me more than I can handle THANK YOU JESUS AND I know that however there are those days I wonder if I can handle another second!!! My husband was a one and only child and I only had a sister we both came from non-christian homes

and we truly learn as we go and when the Lord blessed us with each new baby we finally said to each other "WOW WE DIDN'T SIGN UP FOR THIS" but the Lord gets you through thank goodness. My husband and I fail often and our prayer has always been this; Father as we fail because we know we will, may You come in and fill those gaps ,and Father where we lacked in love and discipline today please fill those gaps as well Jesus name amen. For me I am trying to tackle many seasons at once it is very difficult at times I still have a little toddler, a 5 and 6 year old, the two elementary age boys 8,and 10, then the dreaded teen years my 13 year old boy and my 14 year old daughter both very different and each have very different challenges and strengths. For us one of the hardest things too is having kids all over the board as far as behavior and issues and learning that EVERY CHILD IS VERY UNIQUE AND DIFFERENT THAN THE NEXT no two children have the same make up they are each seperatly and fearfully,wonderfully made by our awesome Creator. I think another REAL important thing (in which I had to learn the hard way) is to remember to NOT COMPARE our kiddo's to each other or with friends and their children. We all have different situations in life we have no idea what goes on in some peoples homes and lives as well as all of our kids have different temperments and ways of doing things. I am finally starting to understand each of my children's uniqueness and differences and finding joy in them. The third chapter in the book is Dont put off Joy......... I love this one cause we do so many times say wait to have fun or enjoy time with our kids cause we have to clean ,or do this and that ,or go here and there, next thing we know as was said in the group that night our kids are grown and out of the house and now have no time for us.

I know we are approaching a very busy time of year for many of us and it is not only busy this year but also stressful this year as many are in financial difficulties and so much uncertainties lurking in the back of minds I urge all of us to take deep breath and SLOW DOWN THIS SEASON put your trust in the Lord and take moments to be with your kids I THINK WE TEND TO GET SO CAUGHT UP IN HOLIDAY PARTIES AND GOING HERE AND THERE AND BEFORE WE KNOW IT THE SEASONS HAVE PASSED AND I CANT REMEMBER A FUN MOMENT I SPENT WITH KIDS HOW SAD IS THAT???? I believe the parties are fine however not at the expense of family time. In all honesty we are not even promised tomorrow and with the uncertainty of our times this could very well be our last Christmas with our families as we know it now( not a prediction just a thought because our time is unknown) in the book in chapter 5 it speaks of people being more important than things which is a good reminder to those of us with the financial struggles the time with our families is more precious and priceless than any gift we could place under that tree. Now I will let you into my childrens lives (just a little) and share with you their temperments and issues:



Alisha is my 14 1/2 year old 9th grader whom is entering young womenhood and the issues we endure in doing so please pray for this. She also is very stubborn and has hardened heart to a few things I pray her personal walk grows and she becomes more in the image of God. She was the first our growing experience all trial and error more error than not she is however not ruined and still teachable.
Ian our 13 year old whom didn't start talking until 5 and still has challenges as he was given the label of being slightly autistic on the very wide spectum now he reads from the bible and shares the good news in an old folks home and blesses many I never would have thought that I thought my child would never speak.
Matthew our 10 year old the child whom has to have the last word and is very stubborn he has the gift of art and drawing I love that , he also has the mind of his father when it comes to computers he was born knowing what to do seriously lol ............................
Noah our 8 year old very smart above average on test scores however he is my strong willed child yet can be so loving and sweet he also loves our holiday traditions all of them and always makes sure we do them as close to those traditions as possible every year after year.
Then there is our Daniel our 6 year old whom has just recently been confirmed to also having austism and is low on the spectrum charts as well however does indeed have it. He also learned to talk late and is still trying to learn to read yet doing very well lots better. I have to say though
he is a sandpaper child and one day I shall share more he loves Jesus already though.
Then there is Joshua our 5 year old yes these two are the closest in age which makes for some difficulties for sure, He is precious yet also a sandpaper child. His brother and he fight alot due to being so close in age. He is so sweet though and is awesome big brother to next in line Bella he also always tries hard to get everyones attention and be funny and cute all the time.
Last yet not least of the clane is our IsaBella 3 1/2 year old princess the one I pray I will mess up on the least because of many lessons already learned oh please Lord. she is a handful she is so smart and always learning quickly (because she wants to do as sliblings do) she is my little sponge right now so I pray I don't waste these important opportunities with busyness. They all have different learning styles as well which is good to know so you can help strengthen those areas and encourage them. I think the biggest thing I am learing and have been learning over the years is not to compare to never lose sight that they are HIS not mine and I am not promised the length of time I am able to spend with them so I want to make the best of everyday as if it were the last we just never know when it may very well be our last. Also to remain teachable as a mom and never pridefully think I have all the answers (I so do not)
to know as each season brings changes some joyful some hardships to remain on bended knee
I have to admit earlier this week when my two boys (8 and 10 year olds) had the day from down under I had my guards down not expecting that to occur and it totally through me for a loop ,made me dig deep and get honest when was the last time you prayed really prayed in detail for these two in paticular I have to say I was convicted and guilty. It also reminded me that because we are doing this study as mom's SATAN will attack and make us feel less than capable mother's so let's be prepared for that and remember to stay armored up. God Bless you all and may He multiply our efforts as mom's in every season we may find ourselves in today.
Until next time,
Cindy
"train your child in the way he shall go and when he is old he shall not depart from it."
prov.22:6

.......YES I HAVE NOW BEEN TAGGED!!!

Ok I have been tagged by my friend Kristin and have limited time however wanted to play so here it goes at least 7 facts about myself:

1) I love to collect tea pots and tea cups with the plates to match I have passion for this and love tea.

2) my favorite color is purple however I do love the turquoise and blue combo and the pink and brown combo.

3) I grew up near the beach in California and LOVE Huntington Beach it is my favorite , if I could afford to have a house on the beach I so would.

4) I am not a cook cant cook at all.... I do however cook I just stick to what I know and dont try alot of new things.

5) I have only been scrapbooking for 3 years and I am loving it . I t is becoming a passion of mine.

6) I have been with my husband for 12 years 11 of those years married in fact our anniversary
is this month on the 19th we have 7 great kiddo's in which we homeschool.

7) ok this may shock you all I didnt get my driver license until I was ..................................24
I know crazy isnt it I have to say there is a whole story behind that I will share with you on another blog some day lol !!!!!