DayBreak

It's the break of day the sun pierces through the sky filled with fluffy white clouds I stare in amazement the wonders of my Lord I am thankful yet thirsty. I come I drink from HIS cup yet still thirsty I dig I press deeper still I ask what is it Lord as I search the deep dark ugly places of a wicked bleeding Heart. Had I lost Jesus?? I had lost Jesus (so I thought). Oh I studied, I researched the Word of God Daily, I still learned about the things of Jesus, but some how I lost HIM. Was it the busyness of this crazy life? But Lord I say How can I be losing YOU even in all this and in the thick of serving in ministry even still I felt the emptiness the longing even after daily drinking from thy cup. Sure I felt Him, and saw HIM in the midst of life and I even clinged and embraced my King, But NOT consistant I began to grow WEARY and tired I wanted to give up on ministry and I did and even at one point wanting to give up on "CHRISTIANITY." This all TAKEN place in a span of 6 months last year seemed like a lifetime I ache I cry out I hurt but though wrestling this feeling thoughts and pain I look back as I search my heart this morning as I am in this state of FASTING and PRAYER for "LENT" I look back and thank God even in this the pain that was felt the lonliness no other knew of.. no other felt and even still I am THANKFUL for those many dark lonely nights of feeling empty and cold within my soul. It was during this time that God reached down and scooped me up from within darkness and despair and it is when I began to pursue again to embrace the truth of God in my life without the noise the hustle and bustle the busyness I am truly able to embrace my King once again I cry I plead I melt into the arms of my Savior I weap as a child and its OK. I began to live again and each day loving HIM SEEKING HIM. He no longer feels distant and far off but close near and continually before my eyes. I realized then and I realize now I need only ONE THING in this life.. JESUS. This truth affected so much in my life relationships with people my family the body of Christ there is NOTHING that draws us to anyone outside of our love for CHRIST we in and of ourselves are selfish and wicked and when my eyes were not set upon the truth that my only NEED and Desire is that of JESUS Christ and a relationship with HIM then all other relationships failed they lacked substanance life truth. I had a measuring scale I measured my life upon am I doing enough am I serving enough is my marriage perfect enough is my life perfect enough to be used by the Lord. I even began to weigh others yikes No longer does service rule my life no longer the THINGS of life but my relationship with Christ that should be thy only measuring stick any of us measure our lives to. The truth is folks that we can ALL be SPIRITUAL, we can ALL talk the good talk its easy to sound CHRISTIAN, we can all learn all the doctrines and be fundemental in our convictions yet still live IN DARKNESS,
with UTTER EMPTINESS and SPIRITUAL BLINDNESS I was.....My way back has not been easy and is not easy even as I type these very words yet I have made the first step CONFESSION .....I had to confess I was a spiritual MESS and in need of a great cleanse. Through honesty and repentance after being ripped from every comfort I knew (including my church home hence is why we left for 6 long months) I WAS THEN GIVEN EYES TO SEE THE GLORY OF JESUS CHRIST ONCE AGAIN, AND THE VEIL THAT CLOUDED MY HEART WAS REMOVED AND I BREATHED IN A DEEP BREATH. You see I was taught wrong ...our survival and HOPE is NOT based on how much we can do or how well we can obey or how well we serve or even how much we serve our hope is not even in how many scriptures we can or cannot memorize or how much doctrine we know our ONLY SURVIVAL FRIENDS IS IN THE PERSON OF JESUS A RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM AND THESE THINGS OUR GREAT YET WE DONT FIND A PERSONAL RELATIONSHIP WITH CHRIST IN THESE THINGS. IN CHRIST ALONE IS EVERYTHING I NEED EVERYTHING you need. HE ALONE is our ONLY HOPE. As I was awakened to this truth as I was reminded my drained, empty, broken body was filled to overflow once again and I am joyful. But awakening to this joy also awakens pain. I am reminded still of God's wonderful GRACE and mercy He reminds me HIS mercies are NEW EVERY morning THIS IS THE ONLY TRUTH THAT CUTS THROUGH THE PAIN DEEP[ WITHIN ..PRAISE GOD. Though this past year has been the most challenging year of my entire life thus far I am filled with so much gratitude to God for HIS Faithfulness His love His never leaving my side even as I have failed many a times HE FOREVER REMAINS FAITHFUL. I have so much to share from our journey as a FAMILY and the HARDSHIPS faced this last year in time as God allows I will be sharing very openly with the public until Next time I encourage the one who has lost sight, slipped away, or failed, JESUS is waiting to receive you with loving open arms. He is not there to have you recount all you have done He does not ask us why or where did you go just like the Prodigal son found and spoke of in Luke Ch. 15 he WAS NOT ASKED 50 QUESTIONS he was excepted once again with embracing , consolation and joy that is how our Lord receives us as well when we cry out to HIM for help and as we seek Him again. SEEK HIM TODAY and be RESTORED. I gaze upon this today and I have eyes of Faith and lips of thanksgiving I love you Lord Jesus!!!!

Until Next TIME ,
In His Amazing Grace,
cindy

video 001.AVI

Good Morning Friends this was a vlog left yesterday! This week my Family is Remembering .... Reflecting......and Rejoicing on Holy Week! As you Noticed I have left a Vlog I plan on Vlogging often Lord willing and leaving them both here and Facebook I have not Facebooked in nearly a month due to fasting for the "LENT" but plan to begin again May 1st I ask for your patience as I begin to vlog again it has been a while love it though it seems so much more personal and also I am a very visual kinda gal so love to see the Face behind the words written on the screen. I pray your Family has an Amazing Holy Week and may we all be in a state of Remembering, Reflecting, and Rejoicing because He Has Risen... HE HAS RISEN INDEED!!

Easter 2011 Finding True Joy

Finding TRUE JOY is to see God's goodness! Do we see God's goodness and if we do why do we find our selves complaining and grumbling time after time. As I press Hard into the Word of God I wrestle I beg Him to show me His goodness as I find myself all around hurting non-joyful people I myself lack this joy most days why have I been consumed by the ways of this dark cold wicked world or is it the pure dark sin of selfishness. Is it both or have we forgotten to be a thankful people? I press deeper into the arms of Christ I am still in the quietness of an early morning when all is calm and still in my house as they lie asleep with no thoughts to a mom whom wrestles with God to find truth and answers to something I long for the TRUE JOY only found in a life with Christ. I am still HE answers Cindy it's all around you have busied yourself and have chosen not to see the many blessings I daily give His words pierce yet a convicting Truth I ask Him to show me He says look I look and I see it everywhere in the dark sky of an EARLY morning, with the lights that shine in the distance, the breeze that blows on a cool Spring morning, its in a child's laughter echoing from their rooms as they arise in the morning, it's in my aching bones that have just ran their hardest, it's in the body that lies reclined in this plush chair, it's in the whisper of a husband's early morning prayer's as he retrieves my coffee, it's for in the pleasure of enjoying that coffee, it's everywhere can you see it now Cindy ? I see it I cry I beg for forgivness for the selfish heart within. I am thankful I begin to do as a sister' blogger does I grab a bunch of post-it notes and begin the journey of thankful gratitude I place them all around the home everywhere to be reminded daily of all the many many blessings bestowed down upon my family and I cry I am so thankful. Feel thanks and it is impossible to be grumpy or feel angry it is hard to feel more than one emotion at a time so I choose (being thankful I get that choose) to be thankful JOYFUL which emotion will you choose today?? So as I have been searching my heart this "Lent" season He is teaching me to be a thankful person filled with Grace His Grace! I pray He will "Be thou always my vision, oh Lord of my heart" Thankful that God died for a wretch like me yes even me. One day when sin was as black as can be Jesus came to dwell among men like you and I His Word became flesh and the light shined among us Living He loved us, Dying He Saved us, Buried He carried our sins Far away Rising He justified Freely forever One day He's Coming OH Glorious Day isnt' that enough in and of itself to be oh so very thankful for HE Died on a cross nail scarred hands dripping with the blood that covers you and I if that doesnt make one thankful I pray! May we come before God cleansing our hearts this next week as we count down to Easter Matthew 5:8 says ; "God blesses those whose hearts are pure, for they will see God " o How I want to see God!!! Lord I am still filthy rags please continue to mold me and reshape these frayed edges of mine into the image and likeness of the Holy One!!! God Bless You as we prepare our hearts for Easter Sunday SEEK to cleanse those deep dark ugly places to find TRUE JOY ! Until Next Time, In His Amazing Grace, Cindy

As Easter Season is Beginning......

Many people have been asking what we do as a Family for Easter and many have wanted me to share on Facebook but I have been on a month break from Facebook and will not return until the 1st of May been a NICE break yet am starting to miss it. EASTER: Well my family and I have already began preparing our hearts as we are in "LENT" which began on Ash Wednesday in March we have two Boxes in which we have made into the "Repentance" boxes we write things we need forgivness for and fold the cards and place them in the boxes so no one can see it is between the Lord and the individual. This is just a way to prepare our hearts for Easter that we may come before the Lord with PURE hearts. Then the Good Friday before we remember that that was the DARKEST day in the world and the darkness of these sins in the boxs we pray and throw the sins away just as CHRIST shed blood that dripped from HIS body that evening to save our souls for eternity and wash our sins away for good. On the Saturday after Good Friday we begin a Family Reading of the WORD and we light 7 candles the next night one less and so on each night leading up to Easter and the night before Easter Nothing no candles lit and this represents the fact that the tomb was empty and on Easter Sunday we will Eat and tell final part of The Events with ALL 7 candles now lit again to represent that our LORD has Risen "HE HAS RISEN INDEED" For a more detailed outline of how we do Easter and what LENT is you can go to Noel Piper's site and go to the topic titled "The Resurrection of Christ" @www.desiringgod.com We do color Easter eggs and we use it as a time to talk about God and His Trinity the three parts this is a WONDERFUL way to explain to young children that God is still one but HE has three parts just as this egg is one yet still has three parts to it: We take an egg and show it breaking : 1st you have the shell this represents God Himself 2nd you have the yolk this represents Jesus 3rd you have the whites and this represents the Holy Spirit that dwells within but whala you only have one egg they seem to love this and so get it try it ....it is amazing!!! We do alot and my prayer for all of us is to just STOP and be still and really reflect on the EASTER season and the sacrifices made on our behalves sinners such as you and I and may our time as we count down to that day not become all knotted up and circum to redundant encumbrances but that we would truly be blessed and thankful and remember the blood that dripped from the body of Christ that DARK night so long ago to cover the sins of each of us and may we be reminded that day by day we live out our actions in the very presence of a living GOD. Draw me close to the foot of the cross where YOUR blood poured out To save a wretch like me and lead me to your heart !!! May God bless your family as you Celebrate Easter week!!! In His Amazing Grace, Cindy

What Guys Think About Modesty

I am so compelled by this piece and so convicted and wish that all women would take this seriously because I can almost promise you this does at some point hit ALL of us at home with Father's, HUSBAND'S, brothers, sons, friends or a fellow brother in Christ whom does not go through this daily and to know we may be contributing to such a thing is just awful. I encourage you as SUMMER is coming and at this time we are tempted to where skimpy things cause it is so HOT but before we go to put on those bikinis or skimpy outfits PLEASE re think and put modesty first I will be putting my two piece to rest this year it is not about me but others around me !!! God Bless you , In His Amazing Grace, Cindy

Been Awhile ................

Hello.....it has been a while since I last posted I am in the process of changing some things in my family such as our homeschool plan and some personal things the Lord is working on with me. We have decided (my husband and I) that we are going to use a free curriculum/ school called K12 it is like a private/public school only done from home so we are still homeschooling just we now have teachers and resources at our disposable we did not have before. I AM AT A STAND STILL when it comes to my older kids math and I just cant do it on my own anymore this is one prompting for making this tough decision. At first didn't want to do it I thought what will people think of the long time homeschooler NOT being able to do it on her own and I want you to know that was a lie straight from the pit of HELL I am a better teacher and mom for being able to admit my shortcomings and ask for help rather then sit by and PRETEND my children our doing well and are fine every child deserves a chance to shine and to learn and if you have come to a barrier in their teaching pray and God will show you what He has for you and your family too.
I am blessed that they can still stay home and learn and learn under my care now with just a bit of help thank you Jesus I wanted to share this to encourage others that if you need help it is OK!
PLEASE PRAY for us as many changes have occurred and will continue to to take place over the course of the next few weeks. God Bless each of you until next time,
In His Grip,
Cindy

DISCLOSURE

I am officially letting the public know that any and ALL info. shared on this blog is NOT to be COPIED or stolen if you like something you read PLEASE ask for permission for use of the info. as I do with any and ALL info. used on my blog that does NOT SOLELY BELONG TO ME!!

You may use my info. if you tell others on your blog where it came from and my blog address thank you very much. Many of us bloggers have been made aware that there is ALOT of coping going on out there and NOT that it has been done with mine however thought it would be a great time to remind all of us the importance of NOT stealing others material and being true to our own identity. God Bless you ALL!!

Until Next Time,
In His Grip,
Cindy