DAY 35 "LOVE IS ACCOUNTABLE"

"Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed." Prov. 15:22 (NIV)

A paragraph from the Love Dare reads as follows:
A couple that faces problems alone is more likely to fall apart during tough times. However, the ones who interlock their lives in a network of other strong marriages radically increase their chances of surviving the fiercest of storms. It is CRUCIAL that a husband and wife pursue godly advice, healthy friendships, and experienced mentors. EVERYONE NEEDS WISE COUNSIL THROUGHOUT THEIR LIVES. Wise people constantly seek it and gladly receive it.
Good marriage mentors warn us before making a bad decision. They encourage when we are ready to give up and to cheer you on when you reach new levels of intimacy in your mariage.
I do caution(me speaking now) it be someone of mature faith and not a friend you just go dump all your marriage problems to because if their marriage is not healthy or is not to the level of your marriage they are only offering opinions and we all have VERY DIFFERENT OPINIONS AND OPINIONS ARE OPINIONS NOT TRUTH. So in that my encouragement would be to find someone whom is led by the unchanging Word of God and not opinions. We all need accountability partners I am just now learning myself what this should look like as well as the very importance of them. I also agree that we need good healthy Godly relationships (meaning whom we spend our time with) to model as well as support the way a godly marriage should look as well as help encourage us and remind us in times of difficulty. An important reminder from scripture: "Each one of us will give an account of himself to God." (Romans 14:12)
The author of Love Dare advises that our husbands and ourselves have godly friendships as well as mentors on a consistent basis. The Bible says: " Encourage one another day after day.... so that none of you will be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin." (Hebrews 3:13)
we often isolate ourselves from others and we need to be very careful not to push the people that love you the most away. If you find your marriage in trouble today I want to encourage you
to call the Pastor, a bible believing mentor/counselor or seek a marriage class conference or study. I know from experience our Pastor is great and looks at it not as a man but on both sides and directing it to biblical truth and is very helpful. In my own personal experience I will be REAL HONEST I was putting off seeing the Pastor or any kind of help at this time we had already seen counselors and I was ashamed and prideful and only was thinking of how it would make me look well I have to say I could not have felt better than I did after meeting with him for the first time. Now you may be saying to yourself well I KNOW my mate WILL NOT GO AT ALL first pray next you make an appointment for you alone and watch as things work, and remember the scripture I spoke of few minutes ago says each one (of us)will give an account
and only for our actions and choices not our spouses. Today's dare was to find a marriage mentor if you do not have someone already someone whom will be loving and honest with you one whom seeks the Bible in finding the answers.
Father this is so hard for us personally and for many I KNOW yet I also am learning the importance so I pray you would place these mentors, friends, counselors, and Pastor's in our path may we be transparent and lay all pride aside seeking to have a whole-hearted godly marriage that you intend for each of us to have. Father I pray for the marriage right now that may be in trouble for one of them to make the first step and seek help and know as the devotion reminded we ALL NEED COUNSEL from time to time and that too is ok it is just another hiccup on the path to becoming more like you WE ALL NEED AN EXTRA HAND OF GUIDANCE
FROM TIME TO TIME. Father I pray for those mentors and friends that you would be their mouthpieces make them sensitive to the situations give them that agape love we all need Father we lift our marriages to you now and ask you to do a mighty work throughout each marriage in our church body. In Jesus Name Amen

On a personal note I ask you to pray Greg and I would find some godly couples to hangout with from time to time we just dont have that to this point we did and they moved away so it has been hard for Greg. Also thanks so much for prayers my shoulder/neck and back is all better I woke up today and pain is 99% gone just a little sore now and tummy is doing better today too but may need to consult the doctor on this one though so praying for guidance and direction.
Until Next Time,
Cindy

Day 34 "LOVE CELEBRATES GODLINESS"

" [LOVE] does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the TRUTH." 1 Corinthians 13:6

Hello friends, todays devotion speaks of the way the world pulls us away from the truth the second we close our Bibles each day and tries to drown us with it's lies. What things pull at us and do we rejoice in them or the things of the Lord??What overjoys us most about our hubands when they get a really good raise at work when they win a golf tournament trophy or when they
gather our families for devotions and bedtime prayers and read the word of God ? we are the most influential people in our spouse's lives have we been using this influence to leadthem to honor God, or to dishonor God?? "LOVE" rejoices most in the things that please God. When our mate's are growing in Christian character , persevering in faith, seeking purity, and embracing roles of giving and service- becoming spiritually responsible in our home the bible says we should be celebrating this. I know these things are important in my own marriage when I see these qualities in Greg I rejoice and fall more in love with him it is wonderful. However I think we need to becareful to encourage these things yet not to condemn in the times they stumble because they will indeed stumble as do we though right. For me the Lord has really convicted me to stop reminding my husband of all the things he hasn't done or has failed in and start Praising him for the things he does do and be thankful not to mention the fact would I like someone ALWAYS pointing out my faults ummmmmmm NO. So let's celebrate the godliness in our husbands and our lives. The LOVE DARE for today askes this:
(Find a specific , recent example when your spouse demonstrated Christian Character in a noticeable way. Verbally commend them for this at some point today.)

Father thank you for yet again another challenge may we all just encourage our mates in their walks with you and may we compliment them when we see them following after you may we all seek to follow whole heartedly after you and you alone and may each of our marriages grow stronger in You with each passing day we love you and thank you in Jesus Name Amen

Until Next Time,
Your humble unworthy servant,
Cindy

Day 33 : "LOVE COMPLETES EACH OTHER"

" If two lie down together they keep warm, but how can one be warm alone?" Ecc. 4:11

God creates marriage by taking a man and a women and uniting us as one. However "love" must be willing to act alone when and if necessary, it is always better if it is not done solo. Love can function if there is no other way, but there is a "more excellent way" (1 Corinthians 12:31). our bodies were made for each other God created Eve from the rib of Adam for the purpose of being his helpmeet so he would not have to be alone. Praise God he has created it to be when one is weak the other is strong (in most cases) when one needs encouragement and building up the other is able to do this. We multiply one another's joy and divide one another's sorrows. Scripture says, "Two are better than one because they have good return for their labor. For if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion. But woe to the one whom falls when ther is not another to lift him up." (Ecc. 4:9,10). Basicly in today devotion it speaks of the importance that we need each other in the marriage we need to be striving to go the extra mile we need to both be giving 100% in this marriage it is not up to the other mate solely or up to only us the dare for today was as follows:
" Recognize that your spouse is integral to your future success. Let them know today that you desire to include them in your upcoming decisions, and that you need their perspective and counsel. If you have ignored their input in the past, admit your oversight and ask them to forgive you. "
Wow uh I know for me this is huge I would make all my decisions I would pray and go to God yet it would stop there until the Lord showed me I need to seek husbands insight as well. I have since than started going over calendar events with my hubby and finances and asking him pretty much before I make ANY decision that involves my time away from home and or family. I also have learned this open's up all lines of communication and has helped us so very much.
one of the questions under the dare asks this :
" What are some upcoming decisions you can make together with your mate??
"What did you learn about the role of your mate?"
For me I learned we are in this marriage together and the decisions we make affect the entire family and need to at least be talked about with our mates ......because let's be honest I know in our marriage if Greg makes a decision without telling me and it affects our whole family it makes for some very heated fellowship if you know what I mean and can be avoided if we just communicate to our spouses so if we expect them to communicate things to us then how much more should we give it in return???

May God bless each of us as we continue in the good and bad times of our marriage, in fact I try not to look at them as bad times anymore however the growing learning experiences in which the Lord allows growth and maturity.

"Father thank you for another day, may we continue to learn on our journey's and may we put you first our hubby's next and then all others to fall into place. May we come together as husband and wife in all decision making and trust in you for the outcomes.
Jesus Name Amen
Until Next Time,
Cindy

Love Meets SEXUAL Needs Day 32.................

"The husband must fulfill his duty to his wife, and LIKEWISE ALSO THE WIFE TO HER HUSBAND.--- 1 Corinth.7:3

PLEASE NOTE THIS BLOG HAS SENSITIVE MATERIAL THROUGHOUT IT AS WELL AS BEING KINDA LONG .....................
God Bless
I know , I know what you are thinking oh no not this topic...........HOWEVER this topic is important and MY LADY FRIENDS it is totally ok and ALOUD woohoo. What perfect timing since Pastor John is doing the study on Wednesday night on the most romantic love story ever , yes that's right the "SONG of SOLOMON". In Christian marriage, romance is meant to thrive and flourish, after all it is what was created by God himself . In the Song of Soloman we see sexual things described in a poetic detail ,showing us how each one responds to the other. It expresses how honesty and understanding in sexual matters go hand in hand in leading to a life of confident love together.

It is important to know sex is of course not the ONLY aspect of marriage however it is a huge part of it. If one mate is more in tune with it and the other really doesnt care which way not really looking for intimate relations unless absolutly needed then the other mate may start to feel threatened and endangered. Here is when our weaknesses come into play if we have been
avoiding intimacy with our husbands then we open a door wide open for the enemy to come in and tempt our men with sexual desires in which are not intended for them to partake of such as beginning with harmless looks and flirtation which may lead to porn and clubs which will eventually lead to 9 times out of 10 an actual affair yikes I know hate to talk about these things however they are very real and the enemy is ALWAYS LURKING waiting for an opportunity to destroy as many marriages as possible we must not allow that to happen. Now please ladies do not get me wrong k I am not suggesting that we alone cause our mates to cheat (lets just not leave any room for enemy to work) and I am also not saying that we must allow ourselves to be used as doormats and giving husbands intimacy EVERY single night I know there are seasons this just cant happen However my friends if we are using the excuse often that we have headaches or we are tired (so are they sis) or we start using sex as a bargaining chip to get our selfish desire met. And ladies withholding of sex without both of you in agreement and for a time of prayer is a sin God will reign down consequences. Though there are times of not being intimate that is understandable however God has divinely designed the heart of marriages as one of giving ourselves to each other to meet the other's need not our own need. So the truth is it isnt about us we as wives(and hubby's) need to make sure we are mindful to our husbands (wives)and their needs and do our VERY BEST to meet those needs again so enemy may not come in to destroy.

"stop depriving one another," the bible warns, "EXCEPT BY AGREEMENT FOR A TIME, SO THAT YOU MAY DEVOTE YOURSELVES TO PRAYER, AND COME TOGETHER AGAIN SO THAT SATAN WILL NOT TEMPT YOU BECAUSE OF YOUR LACK OF SELF-CONTROL"

1 CORINTHIANS 7:5

I have to say I am about to be very transparent right here and share some very recent hurtful issues in my own marriage I so didnt expect to share this however I must obey the King so here it goes I only ask you not to judge. (thou not judge lest ye want to be judged yourselves just a reminder) our marriage is more opposite than your comman marriage for us the roles are reversed so to speak I am the one who's desire for intimacy is beyond that of your average male
so I am the one who as the husband likes to( well you know do it ALL THE TIME............... )my husband however is very different, and he is wonderful yet didnt know for years how to handle this at all and would start withholding and to the point of maybe once a week to then once a month and worse so of course being weak as the Bible spoke of on top of being an emotional gal started assuming (first lie I listened to) that something was wrong with me like oh am I to fat or am I not attractive enough anymore is there SOMEONE ELSE??? what in the world was wrong with me because really wasnt it every guys dream to have the girl with the crazy sex drive since we know most dont.
This became so huge of an issue in our marriage it started a wall to go up on both sides leaving it harder to communicate or even think about being intimate it would be weeks and weeks before
it would happen leaving me YES WEAK I was tempted by the enemy in many ways I am so blessed that nothing happened it never went farther than looking and thoughts of what it would be like to have a different mate (yes evil I know) we know though the Lord says in His very word if you have even lusted with your eye you have already committed adultery Yikes serious

I am so blessed that the Lord as I cried out came in the 11th hour placed things in our lives to make us deal with this harmful thought process and we have been restored in our marriage it is not easy however we know we MUST communicate, SACRIFICE, and do our best to meet the other's needs in which we are learning each passing day to do. I guess my point being ladies is that having been on the Man's side so to speak I want to stress the IMPORTANCE NOT to WITHHOLD from Him UNLESS biblically needed or I am telling you from experience you are headed down a path of devistation leaving room for enemy to come in lie, entice, conquor, and finally destroy what the Lord has intended for the marriage bed to be.

The Dare for today I will share with you and challenge you to do this evening as well:

TODAY'S DARE #32:

If at all possible, try to initiate sex sex with your husband today. Do this in a way that honors what your spouse has told you or implied to you that they need from us sexually. Ask God to then make this enjoyable for the both of you as well as a path to a greater intimacy..........

I have learned in our own personal journey that God's plan for the marriage bed is for us as mate's to meet in the middle and come to a place of agreement and as we ourselves have been doing this the intimacy is 100% better than I ever could have dreamed of so know there is hope if this is indeed an area of difficulty. If this is a place of hurt for your marriages as well my friend remember the ONLY WAY TO RE-ESTABLISH A LOVING UNION BETWEEN EACH OTHER IS "LOVE" and just letting go and "LETTING GOD" God bless you all in your marriage journey.

Father I pray you work in the heart of both husbands and wives in this sensitive area may you protect each marriage of being defiled and from the lurking enemy waiting to entice when we fall weak be our strength Lord Jesus may the walls fall down and may we all know what a beautiful thing the marriage bed was intended to be and that it is ok to be very sexual with our mates as long as it is the way you intended and may we seek to please the desires of our mates within reason and may you make this enjoyable to all in Jesus Name AMEN AND AMEN

Until Next Time,
cindy