Why a Troubled Heart???

The thru the word was so perfect for me today ................... have you all just ever sat down and felt as if the pages were coming to life and speaking directly to you as if God were setting you on His lap and speaking to you as a babe needing guidence and direction????? well this is how I felt today......... I have been in a state of solitude lately for a time of reflection, evaluation, and guidence in some area's of my life for 2009 and just in general and it has been trying and rewarding at the same time. In the beginning of the year I prayed for God to show me what He wanted for me in this next year for myself and family and He really convicted me on my schedule and family time and to stop almost eveything until I hear CLEARLY from Him not my flesh or any outside influence and that is what I have done I have felt led to sit this Bible Study out and not do so many extra curricular things dont get me wrong I am not ever doing any again however the Lord is teaching me it is OK to NOT go to EVERY SINGLE THING every single time, there are seasons for everything even resting and sitting things out. This is where my struggle comes in you see I have ALWAYS been one who has to be at everything I am a go, go , go, and do, do, do, kind of person I cant sit still for to long and this has been since I was about three however the Lord is showing me I need to learn to be still more in order to hear His still small voice and also to REALLY look and evaluate my life and where I am right now. When you get to busy you tend to overlook these things. I have had a very emotional week attacked every which way and beaten down at least several times a day (it seemed like that anyway) it didnt help I had that thing that visits most of us one time a month so emotions were higher than ever you'd think we would learn to take that into consideration oh no not me not till after the stinkin fact of coarse. Things transpired
this week in ways in which just continued to unravil the weeks events and at one point I was having very selfish pity party and on Wednesday an event took place that would be the icing on the cake by now I am frustrated, emotional, hurt, confused, irritated, and down right in the flesh
and it was noticable to others yikes.....................................................................................................
so I knew I was clearly in need of repentance and time with my Father to reflect on when and where I had gotten in this yucky mood I was in and He showed me duhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....
How quickly we(I) forget(ok speaking for myself here) we are His and not our own and that He has our everyday planned just for us and has given us the directions and tools we need for each day we just have to choose to come before His throne daily and ask Him to guide and direct and lead our every move throughout the day mmmm I let the attacks of the enemy get to me instead of remembering the Lord is my Shelter ALWAYS no matter how bad the storm is that we may be facing in our lives His love for us will set us free from any storm and that we can rise above it in His strength not our own PRAISE GOD!!! So today as I humbled myself before His feet crying out to Him with my hurts and frustrations as I begin to read the very first verse in thru the word I am gently reminded by my loving "Father" "Let not your heart be troubled; you believe in God, believe also in me." John 14:1 I could hear Him asking me Why Cindy why is your heart troubled and confused you believe in me right??? well yes of coarse I say then as I continue to read in verse 6 "I am the way, the truth, and the life(am I not? I heard Him say yikes that was convicting)
if I am the way the truth and the life WHY is your heart troubled my daughter? I heard as I continued on with my quiet time then skip down to verse 27 "Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. (and again) let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid." By now I am so comforted yet at same time feeling pretty silly for not in the mist of all the craziness this week remembering to just count it all joy and remember God has my back no matter what else is going on so I now am approaching last few verses of the day in John 15 verse 11 to be exact and what does it say????? "These things I have spoken to you, that My joy may remain in you, and that your joy may be full." WOW you are amazing God I love it when His word comes alive to me and reaches me right where I am at that moment (not that His word isnt always alive) so I repented melted into His arms and released all that I was in the flesh holding on to it was awesome and amazing. you know the more I look deep into why I have these moments the moments of pure weakness it always breaks down to my selfishness and or sin or lack of communion with my Father.... so today as I began and first cried out to my Lord He opened my eyes and allowed the healing to begin He allowed me to see it wasnt Him that had gone anywhere but that it was I that stayed in my pity party instead of laying it all down at the foot of the cross and allowing Him to see me through it all and realize He allows these times to enter my life to teach me and grow me and I should be allowing them and counting them ALL as PURE JOY mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm I love you Lord!! He truley is Lord of Lord's and KING of KING'S. As I continue in my season of rest and solitude I am going to count everything thrown my way as pure joy and know it is the Lord at work perfecting me into the Cindy He wants me to be AMENNNN. It's not about me it is ALL ABOUT HIM, if we can all just remember this we would have such an awesome peace I seek that peace for myself as well as pray for all of us to find it and it can only be found in our Lord there is nothing in any of us worthy of anything only in His strength, Remembering few days back in John 3:30
" He must become greater;I must become less and less" ........... May God bless you
Until Next Time,
Cindy